My wife told me to go to the doctors and get some of those tablets that 'help' get an erection.
You should have seen her face when I came back and tossed her some diet pills!
My wife and I were in bed watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
"Is that your final answer?"
"Yes."
"Then I'd like to phone a friend."
Did you hear the one about the woman who was hard of hearing? She had fourteen children.
Every night, her husband would come to bed and say, "so, you want to sleep or what?"
She'd strain to hear and say, "What?"
What do you call a whore with a runny nose?
Full
Want to know what Female Viagra looks like?
A man moving the oven to clean the crap underneath it, move it back, then proceed to make dinner, and finally do the dishes!
I have a co-worker who has the female porn calendar - 12 images of guys doing ironing, washing dishes etc
So there is a drunk guy walking down the road swaying from curb to curb. Finally the cops stop him and ask him what his doing.
Cop:"Hey buddy watcha doin out here?"
Drunk:"Nuthin, juss lost mah car."
Cop:"Do you know where it is?"
Drunk:"Lass time I seen it it was on the end of this here keee."
Cop:"Your in no shape to drive buddy."
Drunk:"Nah, I can druve I'm finne."
Cop:"Buddy you in really no shape to drive, besides your penis is hanging out."
Drunk looks down,:"Sh!t I lost my girlfriend too."
I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup.. She told me that I had to quit masturbating. I asked why and she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
