Cinema Verites
Posted: Thu May 22, 2003 8:49 pm
Things we have learned from current movies (and tv for that matter):
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices that have large red readouts telling when they're going to go off
During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip joint at least once
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do
If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises only while wearing their most revealing underwear
When confronted by an evil international terrorist, sarcasm and wisecracks are you best weapons
One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them than 20 men firing at one man, if he is the hero
Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices that have large red readouts telling when they're going to go off
During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip joint at least once
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do
If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises only while wearing their most revealing underwear
When confronted by an evil international terrorist, sarcasm and wisecracks are you best weapons
One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them than 20 men firing at one man, if he is the hero
Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one