I almost got robbed today. It was awesome
I went into the ATM section at a TD near Jameson. It's a room with 2 ATMs. I had $200 on me as I was gonna place it in the envelope with the money I was getting out (ie. all the rent in one letter). I just punch in the ATM to get the rest of the money, take out the $200 I already have, go to place it in the envelope when I hear someone to my right say,
"GIMME THE MONEY!!"
I don't think much of it as I figure something else is going on, but then I see a hand going for my cash.
Wait a minute, is that guy talking to me?
Holy sh1t, he is. Maybe I better pay attention to what's going on here
So, I look at the guy. It's some white crackhead on rollerblades with a dirty shirt and stained shorts. He's covered in grime, has greasy curly hair and deranged look on him. Again, he makes a grab for the cash. I hide the money behind me and take a step back. This, unfortunately, quite literally backs me into a corner. The dude, p!ssed that he doesn't have his junk money yet, yells at me again,
"GIVE ME THE F**KING MONEY OR I'M GONNA SHANK YOUR B1TCH @$$!!1"
Now, usually I figure the punk saying this is doing so without much to back it up. However, since this guy is cracked outta his mind
and actually reaching to his pocket, I put a bit more weight behind his words.
I'm at a loss as to what to do. First, I'm shocked by the realization that I'm being robbed. Second, it's now progressed to the point that I myself might be the guy on the evening news you see bleeding as they go into the ambulance. Third, I'm
really p!ssed at myself for having changed outta my work pants. My pocket knife was in them. Trackpants and sandals aren't nearly as impressive in curb stomping as steel-toes and a flip-knife.
Thankfully, I see this portly schlup coming into the area. The game just turned, Crackhead. Now it's my turn to yell.
"WHAT THE H3LL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, HUH?!"
I'm yelling and in his face like he's a lil pup that just sh@t on my brand new carpet.
He reacts just like that--a lil' b!tch.
He turns around and skates off like I'm about to beat his @$$. I'd like to be able to say that thought crossed my mind, but in all honesty, I was just happy for him to be outta there.
So, I push the receipt confirmation button to get my money (thankfully, the ATM hadn't spat out the rest of the money or we would've had to wrestle over it), grab my money, stick it underneath my ball sack in my undies (ssssshhhhhhh.......don't tell my landlord), get outta there while glancing everywhere, and hightail it back to my apartment in my car.
Lesson learned.
