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Getting Pigs to Reproduce

Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2004 4:44 pm
by Ghost [PX]
Here's one for Mike.

One day, the pig farmer went to the veterinarian and asked "Why can't
I get my pigs to reproduce?" The vet replied,"Well, if nature isn't
taking care of itself, you're going to have to artificially inseminate
them." The farmer, not wanting to admit he doesn't understand this
term, says, "Well, how will I know if they are pregnant?" And the vet
replies, "They will roll around in the mud."

So the next day, the farmer(assuming artificial insemination means he
is supposed to impregnate them himself), puts all the pigs in the
truck, drives them out in the woods, and has sex with them all. In
the morning, he eagerly awakes and looks out the window-the pigs are
just standing around as usual.

So, the farmer figures one more try will do the trick. He loads them
in the truck, drives them into the woods, and has sex with all of the
pigs. The next morning, as he looks out the window, nothing has
changed-the pigs are not muddy.

Finally, the farmer thinks.."Just one more try." Again, he loads them
into the truck, drives into the woods, and has sex with all the pigs.

The next morning, the man is too tired to look out the window, so he
asks his wife to do it. He says, "Well, are the pigs rolling around in the
mud?" And his wife replies, "No.....but they're all huddled up in the
truck, and one of them is honking the horn"

Posted: Mon May 03, 2004 7:04 pm
by [Fallen]Thanatos
is this true neb? :)

Posted: Tue May 04, 2004 3:22 am
by [PX] Nebuchadnezzar
I wouldn't know. I used to work the first step of the process, not the last.

Posted: Tue May 04, 2004 3:56 am
by Dempsey
AI is done using plasitic rods

Posted: Tue May 04, 2004 9:40 pm
by [PX]IronFist
And here I was thinking it was done using computers. :D

Posted: Tue May 04, 2004 10:29 pm
by THE JEW (RaVeN)
And here I thought it was done using Steven Spielberg movies. :D

Posted: Wed May 05, 2004 2:16 am
by [PX]IronFist
And here I thought it was done using Stanley Kubrick movies. :D

Posted: Wed May 05, 2004 3:32 am
by [PX] Nebuchadnezzar
How long has your penis been a plastic rod mike? :D

Posted: Thu May 06, 2004 12:41 am
by THE JEW (RaVeN)
[off topic]

Bah. A.I. was most definitely a Spielberg movie. It had a happy ending. Spielberg takes every movie he does, including those few not with Tom Hanks which is a whole 'nother topic, and gives them some cr@ppy optimistic ending. Minority Report, Jurassic Park, and I bet his upcoming one about the guy in the terminal all take overtly optimistic endings compared to the basis.

Summation:

A.I. = Spielberg film with Kubrick influence.

[/off topic]

And to continue this:

And here I thought it was done using a human rights activitist's group endorsed by Patrick Stewart. :D


(Amnesty International for those who don't get the somewhat vague reference).